There are quite a lot of either unique characters or uniform variations from the GI Joe comic that I’d want, but I think my top wants might have a chance, due to the fact that they have transcended their comic origins and have had actual plastic representations over the years.
But there are a few that I think might be a little more obscure, a little more niche and, therefore, huge longshots. Now, I’m not talking about people like Dr. Venom, Kwinn, Hard Master, Soft Master, Blind Master, Billy and such. And I’m not talking about anything like off-duty Snake Eyes in his cabin in the woods. All of these I’d buy so fast your head would spin. But no, I’m talking about things that, if I’m honest, have no chance of being made. And I’m fine with it.
But that doesn’t mean I still don’t want them.
In no order, these are my top five:
FA Serpentor
Well, technically a true “first appearance” Serpentor would be nude, but I’m talking about the first thing he wore to battle before he got the golden-scaled uniform we’re all more familiar with. Taking some fashion tips from his “father” Dr. Mindbender, Serpentor went with a pant-cape-no shirt deal, topping it off with his familiar snake helmet.
We have seen this version appear on the packaging of the recently preorderable Serpentor, but I have huge doubts that it would actually get a figure. Still, it would be welcome.
Fatigues Sgt Slaughter
Sgt. Slaughter is obviously far more iconic in his upcoming black muscle shirt. However, when he first showed up at GI Joe headquarters, he was wearing the far more subdued camo fatigues. I love the iconic look for him, but I have always had a soft spot for this as well. There’s something about someone as unconventional as Sgt Slaughter wearing something so military traditional.
The Paine Brothers
Basically, three sibling torture experts hired by the Baroness to give Snake Eyes a working over. It’s where he got his V3 uniform. Because spoiler alert Snake Eyes got loose and they didn’t make it. However, for three idiots who were only brought in to die and give Snake Eyes a new set of clothes (hope he washed them asap) I want a three-pack of the Paine Brothers. I don’t expect a three pack of these psychos, but they would torture so many of my toys, you guys. So many.
Bigass robot from issue #3
I have wanted this thing since 1982.
Basically a sleeper agent Battle Robot that the Joes confiscated from a Cobra base that activated back at Joe headquarters, this thing is huge and awesome and is a robot. Which quintuples the awesome. No, it’s not a person. No, it’s not a costume variation. It’s my list, get your own!
It’s kind of simple, just a big humanoid hunk of metal, but the 3rd issue of GI Joe was my second issue (I didn’t have the first issue) and it has been in my head for 40 years. Would buy. Might buy twice.
Bongo the Balloon Bear
Self explanatory. It’s a girl in a bear costume. She’s Ripcord’s girlfriend. It’s a girl in a Bear costume. There are balloons involved.
It didn’t end well.
That’s five!
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Source: Fwoosh
