My first Joe. The one that started it all. Straight of arm, determined of expression, laser of gun.
My parents knew me well. I was a hugemongouscolossal Star Wars fan when the GI Joe toyline started up, so while I was toiling away at school they very wisely decided to go with the laser trooper as the very first Joe. Flash bridged the science-fictiony space opera future funk of Star Wars with the grounded militarism of those green clad Joes. It was basically a little green army man—the kind whose feet were fused together with a built-in stand—with the tech-encrusted Star Warsian awesomeness.
I was hooked. It felt like the future of toys. Return of the Jedi had yet to make an appearance in the world, a movie that would once again open up a new deluge of Star Wars toys, but Star Wars as a property was soon going to be going into hibernation. It would be over a decade before they would dominate the aisles again.
Gi Joe was ready and willing to pick up that slack. I can still remember that palpable tingle as new playtime channels immediately starting shattering open in my brain. X-Wings, AT-ATs and Snowspeeders were soon going to be overruled by Hiss Tanks and MOBATs.
As one of the Original 13 Joes, Flash had to share space with plenty of other Joes, many of whom were…flashier. Eventually Flash would be replaced by Sci-Fi, the next generation of laser trooper. But there were a couple times when his specific skill set was needed, and that specific skill set was to burn through metal with his laser rifle.
So basically, Flash was the Joe team’s human acetylene torch? Except with precision. And he probably had to make the sound effects himself. Word on the street is that Flash carried a recording of the laser sound from the cartoon around and played it when he used his rifle. It annoyed the rest of the Joes.
Speaking of the cartoon, much like with Sci-Fi, a dude whose specialty is a laser in the middle of a group of soldiers who all use lasers mean he’s kind of redundant. Unless his laser was a special laser. In the intro to the original mini-series, he is shown melting a piece of metal with his rifle, so maybe he had a better laser than the rest of the Joes. Kind of like the kid at school who has official full-strength Dunkin’ Donuts for dessert when everyone else has “Powdered Flavor Circles.”
Mmmmm…flavor circles.
But all of that was ok, because Flash and his laser rifle could do whatever you needed them to do. Except not very well, because mine was the straight-arm pre-bicep swivel type so everything he did he had to do kind of holding his rifle out ahead of him kind of awkwardly, as if thrusting the lasers toward the enemy.
“Flash! Thrust your rifle at Cobra and fire!”
“I’m thrusting! I’m firing!”
“Thrust, damn you, Destro is getting away!”
“I’m thrusting as hard as I can! Pew pew!! Zoop Zorp!”
“You did not just zoop zorp.”
And he can’t even cross his arms in annoyance.
But even with that handicap, Flash set in motion a lifelong love of the GI Joe world. I think that love would have been just as strong had it been any of the others, but lasers?
Yeah, lasers weren’t bad at all.
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Source: Fwoosh
